Who's Yo Daddy? A Picture of Contemporary Sports Heroes

So, I was engaged in conversation not long ago with an acquaintance; another 30-something dad with small children. In a rather uncircuitous manner, as males are wont to do, the conversation eventually turned to what sports we dreamed our children would play. He suggested that his son would undoubtedly be not only the New York Giant's biggest fan, but in approximately 12.5 years, be the starting linebacker. Or starting pitcher for the Yankees, or power forward for the Knicks. But one of the big three, for sure! Hell, he's being bred for it right now. He's twice the weight and height of any kid in his class!

Great. I like football too. And basketball. And baseball. Then, as it became my turn to reply in the same, I let out the truth of my personal feelings on the matter; apparently the wrong truth. I told him I wanted my kids to be involved in less mainstream sports. I hope they will choose from the following: tennis (which they will be starting this fall), soccer (to learn team fundamentals), swimming (for complete body health & intensity of mind), or golf (for mental focus, mathematical analysis, and control). Skiing and cycling of course will come later...

Now before you sportsfans out there start beating me down with my un-American-ness, allow me to say this. While I do recognize that there are pros and cons to every competitive sport, hey, let's look at some of those soccer hooligans, there is a certain mentality that seems to accompany the big ticket sports that I don't necessarily subscribe to.

I don't agree with the "cultivation of cult" that seems part in parcel to some of the big 3, as I will refer to them. I don't agree with the mentality of "more pain more gain," "nice guys finish last," or invincibility of man. I disagree that "failure is not an option" and that one can act like a complete jackass because of athletic talent, real or pharmaceutical. Now, I will also concede that one of my favorite sports, cycling, has a real doping issue. But, I will also ask when the last time we saw a cyclist brandishing a firearm or holding dogfights in his basement.

The long and short of it is, I felt as if myself and my kids were already being called out as "tennis wussies" (and that is almost a direct quote) because I subscribe to different sporting philosophies. I will say this: we are all individuals with independent choices on self conduct and preservation, but what attitudes and morals are kids going to get when the "stars" of their beloved sports end up not finishing college to go early in a draft, attack their coaches, are on trial for steroids, or worse? It is, after all, up to us as parents to instill moral values and social etiquette within our children, but when the outside world (as it surely must) becomes a significant influence, where will our influence end???

And the bottom line: there surely are gentlemen (and women) in all facets of sports who play the game like it should be played. There are those who are pure of heart and mind who have nothing more than love of the game. But, also, those who truly possess a love for the spirit of competition will admire and respect any athlete of the same caliber, regardless of sporting choice. That's my bottom line. And fair to say, this gentleman did not possess this mentality, nor will his child, I am sure. So my call out to all my parent-readers out there is to give due consideration to what environment you wish to send your child into and what end result you would like to see...


Barry Bonds



Michael Vick



Dennis Rodman



Or...


Michael Phelps



Tiger Woods



Andy Roddick

What Doesn't Kill You...Makes You Not Dead...Yet

Since it has been, ummm, a spell since I have posted a blog, some of you may be inquisitive as to my general whereabouts and well being. I can assure you that I am still of semi sound mind and body, but as circuitous as my ways can be, I will lead you on a low level IQ guessing game to discover how I have been spending my "free time" sans family. So I will pose the following list, and you must choose which you think best fits the bill...Here goes.

Option A: The Couch Potato. Have I become intimate with fried bite-sized foods chased by microbrewed ice creams, grossly engrossed in such tragic realities as "Living Lohan & A Taste of Love with Tela Tequila" and leaving buttocks-sized depressions on my wholly uncomfortable futon?

Or...
Option B: The Circus Freak. Have I run off, as many young (I use the term generously) men are wont to do, to join the circus? To share with the world the abnormalities of my being? To delight in the awed faces of those who witness...well for those who like weird stuff, ya know?

Perhaps...
Option C: The Bachelor Pad. Have I been entertaining those of questionable taste, morals, and general public decency? Have I succumbed to the base animal of man, complete with poker chips, light beer, and I guess regular chips?

Maybe...
Option D: The Inner Child. Have I taken a big swim in "lake me?" Have I found again the little guy inside (no short jokes here) who just wants to know the world for the innocent place that once seemed so real? Have I fingerpainted all the walls and put PB&J sandwiches in the VCR again?

Finally...
Option E: How often do you get a multiple choice test with option E? Maybe I have been this guy. We'll call him Dave for anonymity. Have I been running rampant on the streets of New York brandishing my tape measure and t-square? Have I actually used the "hammer loop" on my carpenter jeans? And I thought that had something to do with MC Hammer. Silly rabbit.

So you be the judge. What best describes the past month? Which picture paints accuracy? Jump in. Take the plunge. Decipher this Rorshach test of enigmatic proportions. Let me know. And don't dis Chuck E. Cheese. I may have pushed some of the little kids out of the way, but I always keep my eye on the prize.

The 5-Boro Bike Tour

Today goes down in history as my first lengthy pedaling endeavor via pavement. A few months ago when I saw a subway ad for the Five Boro Bike Tour, I thought to myself: self, this might indeed be an interesting way to get to know your neighbors. All 8 million of them. So, The Little Mule(that's what I call my two wheeled commuting compadre) & I signed up.
This morning at 8 am, 31,000 of my closest friends and I were cut loose on the streets, highways and byways of NYC to complete a 42 mile bike tour of Manhattan, The Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn & Staten Island. See map & Info Link below.
http://www.bikenewyork.org/rides/fbbt/

As riders rode past the starting gate, they were asked to shout where they were from, while the event chair announced them over the loudspeaker: "India, Greece, Australia, Italy, China, and Reno," to name but a few worldly locales...Now the event participants ranged from groups of friends employing silly themes (the sombrero wearers were my favorite, although the group dressed as flamingos was a close second), families with kids, team riders/racers, and of course, the rest of us who fall somewhere in between.

Anyway, the tour was great and I had a blast. It was fun to roll The Little Mule for such a long journey, and she did not disappoint (though my leg power did about mile 35). I had fun, avoided being in the midst of the many frightening collisions I was unfortunately privy to witness, and even kept up nicely with Team Saucy-Neon-Pink-N-Green-Spandex on my single speed. All kinds of people lined the streets and front yards encouraging us on, kids handed out candy and water, cheerleaders were, well, cheering, as well as the occasional street corner music group doing their thing.

Also, I have to commend The City for putting on a well organized and safe event. They had all the roads blocked off and NYPD on every corner. There were ample rest stops with free food and water, live music & a festival at the end. Not too shabby! I will do it again next year, though I have decided to recruit some willing friends to come with. Pony up folks. I have also decided to acquire a real road bike (since there seems to be a striking absence of mountains out here) and shoot for a century race this fall.

I have some great race shots on my camera phone, but haven't worked out how to download them as of yet. I will post an addendum once I figure it out. But now, as my weary bones are ready to drift off to sleep, I will leave you with some highlights from my own personal winner's podium:

Little g's congratulating Big G


Ready for a slice & a Pabst


Eye of the Tiger (like the Survivor song, you know?)

Derbyriffic in NYC

Well, not everyone can be as shining an example as The Colonel himself...but if there is one thing we have in common, it's to enjoy a fine specimen of equine gallantry. I am, of course, speaking of The 134th annual Kentucky Derby, not biscuits and Cole Slaw, lest you should be confused.

One can, however, invite a few fine folks over to celebrate the big day at Churchill Downs with Mint Juleps, Derby Pie and maybe an itsy-bitsy wee little betting pool...well, we ARE from Nevada, you know. We put a warning against the evils of gambling here for you kids to read...

My bride, not a Kentuckian by nature, decided to christen our first NYC Derby Day by inviting friends over for cordials. As you can see in this photo, she is about to serve up our interpretation of the state beverage...not that alot of hard research was conducted. When in Rome and all that...

Our neighbors arrived looking mighty "Rico Suave" for the occasion...perfect!

And, here is the rest of the party, conducting themselves in ways becoming of young Southern Genteel folk...

Even The Dudes joined in the fun...

A grand time was indeed had by all; wish you could have joined us! Salutations from your hostess...

Luck be a Lady

In the spirit of our unseasonably warm weather (80 degrees today!) we decided that as self-respecting New Yorkers, we should pay a visit to one of the icons of our great nation! No, it wasn't the Pope (who just happens to be in town), our beloved Senator (don't really know where she is, but just follow the mudslinging), nor even our self-liberated Governor (God bless his cheatin' heart)...

It was the real deal, Lady Liberty. And, we discovered that for about $100 a family of four can enjoy a nice harbor cruise with spectacular views of Ellis Island and The Statue of Liberty. Or, you could do what any self-respecting New Yorker does...and take the Staten Island Ferry that basically follows the same route, for FREE!!! Keeping along the cheapskate lines, here is a miniature travelogue of our adventure:
Hold me close up, tiny dancer...

If you build it, they will come. Or go. You know. Whatever.

Jessie & Wyatt lovin' the Lady.

All jest aside, no matter what politics you subscribe to, she won't be denied...

Team G enjoyin' the ride.

We stopped to sniff the Tulips across the street from our house and, Wham! These two cute kids came outta nowhere and stole the show!

Home again, home again jiggity jog.

Welcome to the Jungle

So our first Broadway experience was not a Broadway version of a Guns n' Roses montage, as the title may suggest(though who wouldn't love to see the Broadway rendition of Axl, Slash & Co.)?
Tsk, tsk. No heavy metal concerts for the lads just yet(guess we were a bit premature on the leather pants purchase). Just a little good old fashioned Disney fun with "The Lion King:"

http://disney.go.com/theatre/thelionking/

Who doesn't love a heartwarming tale of patriarchal birthrights, deep loss and surprise reformation? An age old tale fit for, well, at least Team G. Grammie Connie was kind enough to treat us to a bit o' The King on her recent visit and we gave it two thumbs up; the costumes, stage management, lighting and choreography were all outstanding and breathtaking. The music itself was, well, almost as if it had been written entirely by Elton John...

But, the Broadway experience was in and of itself worth going. Again and again. The twins were on the edge of their seats the entire time, and I must say the adults also found the performance quite riveting. The sheer amount of time, effort, money and money that must have gone into a production of this magnitude is phenomenal. The stage management was seamless, dancing & choreography detailed and intricate, and the costumes incredible. We would recommend going should you be in town, and who knows, we might be talked into joining you! Thanks again to Grammie Connie for the tickets (and, of course, trekking all the way to New York to accompany us)! PS--I chose this picture because of the look on the little goofball on the right's face (closest to Mary). Priceless 4 year old charm...guess we're not ready for those kiddie model headshots yet.

Empty Calories & Full Lives

Ahhhh. Remember the carefree days when we could ingest trans-fat, polysaturated fat, palm kernel oil, and even (Gasp!)partially hydrogenated things? Before Oreos, Hostess, &Lil' Debbie had gone the way of the dodo and were replaced with funny little guys called edamame, flax seed, & acai berries? Well, here is a salute to those who once celebrated the fine epicurean merit of good-old-fashioned fat. Hat's off, and pounds on, to the clever ad execs who came up with these ones. Now, if you have been feeding your brains with lots of lard (and I don't just mean political ad campaigns), can you determine the relationship between these two ads? Hmmmmm. Now that's what I call a think-tank approach...

The Vermont 50 MT Bike

Here is a shout out to my mountain biking peeps coast to coast. In an effort to gain a more intimate relationship with my newfangled East Coast Roots, I have decided to enter what I understand is one of the best rides/races this side of the rockies. Not as gruelling or intense as the Leadville 100, but still a challenge and should be quite fun. 50 miles in under 12 hours. Should be do-able, right? We are going to make it a family camping and cheering on affair from Sept. 27th 2008 until Sept. 29th 2008. Click here for more info:

http://www.vermont50.com/index.html

I know attendance at this race for most of you is highly unlikely, but just thought I'd throw the invite out there in case you want to come view the fall foliage. You can ride it, run it, relay it, or drink beer on the sidelines and cheer me on. I will be needing all the support I can get, trust me (and if you want to help push me up the hills, I wouldn't complain).

Anyway, I'm super excited about it and am throwing any and all excuses out there for potential visitors! As motiviation for this event, I would like to leave you with this pearl of wisdom:

She's All Growed Up...Sniff...

I know, I know. More bike stuff. Some might call it a bit obsessive. I like to think of it as more like, a deep and unabiding affection. Of course, that's also what Tanya Harding probably said about Nancy Kerrigan. Well, either way, the Silver One (I have been in such awe, I haven't had time to find a proper name) is about 75% finished. Replaced the bars, seat and seat post on this outpatient visit. The next overnight stay will require a more invasive procedure to replace the stem, headset, cranks and bottom bracket. In her new Carbon Fiber gear, she is sure to look hotter than David Hasselhoff in a Speedo.

As if.

Check it out:

A Vending Machine for Cars???

Welcome to one of New York's less frequented attractions: the car-vator. Now, it may look like something where you just swipe your American Express Blue Card and just press A3 for Lexus, G12 for Mercedes, etc. And: Bam! Out pops a new ride! Here we go, my first choice:

Wouldn't that be handy? Sorry to disappoint, but this is simply a car park with a lift...gotta go up in this town. But, it sure is fun to watch as they retrieve them. But if there was a car vending machine, what I want to know is: where did they go and put the one in MY price range??? Ahhh, that's the ONE! My trophy car to compliment my trophy wife!












Oh, wait...that's my little pretty eyes. Isn't she amazing? Anyone break a nickel? Or loan me some sunglasses?

Virtual Tour of Casita de Caton

And now, ladies and gentlemen, let us interrupt your current program to bring you another exciting episode of Yo! MTV Cribs! Tonight we feature a homey yet avante garde home from the Kensington area of Brooklyn. Please join us for this tour as you witness, first hand, how the "other half lives." And by "other half," we just mean the other half of sane.

And now, let's dim the lights for the slide show:

The Living Quarters. Elegant, yet cozy. Emphasis on cozy. Like dancing at the Prom, or being in a cocoon (with television, if moths watched television, though they would be attracted to the light. Stop.).









Le Entryway (right). Fun 70's colors, but also practical. Not like 70's automobiles. Remember the Ford Pinto? Yup. 'Nough Said.











The Boudoir. Connected to Living Quarters through not-so-secret passageway. See blueprint for New York City Housing. Ha ha. I think that's what the Autocad plans actually say, too.










Ye Olde Dining Hall. Not exciting, but functional for the family meal hour. But it could be exciting if you are a fan of time. We do have a great clock with an Eiffel Tower background. Oui.


La Cocina. This is perhaps our favorite room. How could it not be? Did I mention we have a professional gas range/oven. Nice. Don't hate.










The Office. Not too much work getting done here, but sure fun to make mix tapes and buy useless stuff from the Internet elves.

Our Humble Beginnings. We've come a long way, baby!

The Family Von Melting Pot

Well...the word is out that the (ahem) individual who posts this blog has yet to mention the fact that there are others associated within his regime. Though they need no introduction, as you can probably hear them now from where you are, I thought I might take this opportunity to introduce the starting lineup for the team. In the green coat, weighing in at 42 pounds and hailing from the Silver State is Jessie Lee Quinn. In the red coat, the master of disaster, the angry enchilada, Wyatt Kelley. Refereeing the fight tonight is Lady Liberty. Kind of reminds one of the Rocky/Apollo matchup, doesn't it? Sometimes the kids re-enact it just for fun.

And how about that FDNY Tower Ladder 15, pride of the Lower East Side? Fire trucks. Sirens, dogs. Kids. Enough said. Fire Trucks. Firefighters. Wives. Enough said. I always thought men who worked in grocery stores were sexy. But, whatever.

But seriously, it is wonderful how New York City, being the meltiest of the melting pot, truly celebrates its patriotism. One would think otherwise, as Jew and Muslim, Indian and Pakistani, black and white, New Yorkers and Jersey folks, are all forced to coexist in a rather small space to hold 8 million people...but they do, and it is actually inspiring. I know, there are always hiccups in the system, but overall, it really does give some hope to the ideas set forth by the Founding Fathers. Here is another firetruck (at the request of my wife and children) that I'm sure John Adams or Ben Franklin would approve of!