Option A: The Couch Potato. Have I become intimate with fried bite-sized foods chased by microbrewed ice creams, grossly engrossed in such tragic realities as "Living Lohan & A Taste of Love with Tela Tequila" and leaving buttocks-sized depressions on my wholly uncomfortable futon?
Or...
Option B: The Circus Freak. Have I run off, as many young (I use the term generously) men are wont to do, to join the circus? To share with the world the abnormalities of my being? To delight in the awed faces of those who witness...well for those who like weird stuff, ya know?
Perhaps...
Option C: The Bachelor Pad. Have I been entertaining those of questionable taste, morals, and general public decency? Have I succumbed to the base animal of man, complete with poker chips, light beer, and I guess regular chips?
Maybe...
Option D: The Inner Child. Have I taken a big swim in "lake me?" Have I found again the little guy inside (no short jokes here) who just wants to know the world for the innocent place that once seemed so real? Have I fingerpainted all the walls and put PB&J sandwiches in the VCR again?
Finally...
Option E: How often do you get a multiple choice test with option E? Maybe I have been this guy. We'll call him Dave for anonymity. Have I been running rampant on the streets of New York brandishing my tape measure and t-square? Have I actually used the "hammer loop" on my carpenter jeans? And I thought that had something to do with MC Hammer. Silly rabbit.
So you be the judge. What best describes the past month? Which picture paints accuracy? Jump in. Take the plunge. Decipher this Rorshach test of enigmatic proportions. Let me know. And don't dis Chuck E. Cheese. I may have pushed some of the little kids out of the way, but I always keep my eye on the prize.
